Les Poissons (761954's Ludwig Von Drake version)
Inside the dining room, Norman was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Basil was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Norman was waiting patiently for Olivia to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with the Old English male mouse. "Oh, Norman, be reasonable," said Basil, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Norman cut him off. "I'm telling you, Basil, she was REAL!" he said, "I am going find that girl. And I am going to marry her. He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the maid. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Mrs. Judson. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lover into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Olivia. Olivia was now wearing a baby blue dress with long, white, triangular sleeves, a baby blue lined bodice, a white diamond-shaped neckline, and a matching petal overskirt (similar to Aurora's dress), a ruffled white petticoat, a gold tiara, a matching necklace, and baby blue pumps. This was a new look for Olivia, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Norman's eyes widened as Basil walked up behind the prince. "Oh, Norman, isn't she a vision?" asked Basil. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Norman's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouths and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Norman stammered. Olivia, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her brown eyes looked up to him. Norman blushed a light pink as Basil helped Norman into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Norman pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Norman tucked the chair under the table as the girl sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not ofen that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Norman?" Olivia wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object, took off her tiara and bow, and began brushing her fur-hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Norman and a horrified Basil. Olivia delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table, put her bow back behind her ear and the tiara back on her head, and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Basil using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Olivia understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Basil kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Basil stopped in mid-sentence when the female Scottish mouse blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Norman cracked up with laughter while Mrs. Judson gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Norman cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Basil." Mrs. Judson smiled, placing a hand on the Old English male mouse's shoulder. "Why, Norman," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Olivia looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Basil, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Mrs. Judson, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Mrs. Judson smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, French-fried bird!" Iago poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was a slender white duck with a bit of fluff on each cheek, a yellow beak, and webbed-feet. He wears a white dress shirt, a black tie, a white coat, waistband, a pair of glasses, a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was Ludwig Von Drake, the French chef of the kitchen. Drake rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the old duck chef started singing. Ludwig Von Drake: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Drake pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Iago horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Iago hid his face. Drake: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Iago took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Iago leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Drake: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, Drake again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Iago tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Drake: I pull out what's inside And I serve it with fries Cause I love little fishes Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, Drake pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Iago grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but Drake took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Drake: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When Drake pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Iago flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from Drake's preparations for the tuna. Drake: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in Cause that makes it taste nice When Drake was describing those horrid moves, Iago cringed even more. Just after Drake put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Iago's worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small bird kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed Drake, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' bird and continued singing, Drake: Sacre bleu What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent bird? Quel dommage What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt Drake tossed Iago into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Drake: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Iago spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. Drake didn't notice that the parrot in his hand was still alive. Drake: Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo Mon poisson Au revoir! Drake threw Iago across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Iago held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. Drake, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the bird, picking up Iago and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Iago bit Drake's beak, making him scream in pain as he held his beak. Iago landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. Drake reached for the parrot, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his webbed-foot. Drake grabbed his webbed-foot and cried in pain, before sending Iago an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the parrot. Iago, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Iago pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, Drake lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Iago running for his life. Iago screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath Drake and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. Drake screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Iago hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Mrs. Judson, who was pouring drinks for the prince, Basil, and their young guest, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Drake is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Iago. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Drake!" shouted Mrs. Judson. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Mrs. Judson's shrill voice. His coat and apron were torn and stained, his chef's hat was gone, and there was a hole in the elbow of his shirt. "What are you doing?" Mrs. Judson demanded. Drake stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, madame." he finally said. Mrs. Judson scowled at the duck as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on his feathery cheek. Mrs. Judson picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. Basil set his glass back on the table as the Mrs. Judson placed their dinners in front of him, Olivia, and Norman. "You know, Norman," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Norman simply sat there, staring at Olivia with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that Basil had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Norman let out a small chuckle and looked at Basil. "I'm sorry, Basil." he said, "What was that?" Basil leaned over to the male mouse and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Basil complained, he opened his dish, and Iago was huddled inside. Olivia noticed Iago and became worried. Iago quietly shushed the worried girl, who opened her dish and urged for Iago to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Basil, easy." said Norman, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Iago quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Olivia's dish. With Iago safe, Olivia quickly turned to Norman. "Well, what do you say?" asked Norman. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Olivia nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed Basil. "Now let's eat, before this bird wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Iago had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Olivia, Norman, and Basil went their separate ways. Olivia was now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Norman play with Toby from the balcony. Olivia was now wearing baby blue footy pajamas with a matching hair-bow. "Come here, boy!" Norman laughed to Toby, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Toby ran up to him and growled. Norman playfully growled back at the dog as he pinned Norman down. He looked up and smiled when they saw that the girl he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Norman waved at Olivia, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Norman's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope he they felt the same way. Olivia smiled as she brushed her fur-hair with her fork before putting her hair-bow back behind her ear. Iago complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Olivia patted Iago on the head. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the parrot, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Olivia while she walked over to her bed. Olivia's bed was a large canopy bed with sky-blue mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large baby-blue curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the blue canopy), baby-blue blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy, blue blanket, & blue mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Iago told Olivia, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that mouse to kiss you." She opened the curtains and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Iago. Olivia lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Iago went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Olivia was already fast asleep. Iago shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. Before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as he covered himself up with Olivia's blue blanket. "Completely hopeless." And with that, Olivia and Iago fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:Songs Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmake Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs